This morning, I heard this Pink Floyd song on the radio, and it occurred to me that maybe “Comfortably Numb” isn’t just about getting stoned. Maybe “Comfortably Numb” is really about how we develop self numbing defense mechanisms to deal with life and about how we fall into ruts we really don’t want out of.
There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying
When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown
The dream is gone
I have become comfortably numb.
I thought: “Yes, I can identify with that.” I suspect most of us can at times.
Lewis was right. We don’t desire enough. I don’t desire enough. We all settle for stagnation at some point. We all mistake the journey for the destination.
Because we have just enough.
Enough to fill our belly and comfort our backsides. Enough of good to make us smug and enough of God to pretend we are holy. So, we sit down and watch the butterflies flitting among the trees and the hawks circling lazily and we cease striving.
But, isn’t this where it’s at? Isn’t this us saying with the Apostle Paul that we will be content where God has placed us? Sure, Paul spent some time making tents, but he isn’t known as a tent maker. What I do for a living doesn’t define me. Does it? Well, it darn sure seems like it does most of the time. It’s what I spend the most time at, what I get accolades for, what people know me as. But, what is the true calling of those who claim to be Christ followers?
According to said Apostle: Jesus crucified is what defines us. The death and resurrection of Yeshua is the anchor point that all of Paul’s dense, complex, and sometimes confusing theology revolves around. It is his central message: Jesus is the fulfillment. Whatever the question, faith in his sacrifice and it’s sufficiency is the answer.
But, you say, it’s about a relationship, not about what you believe. Not about (gasp)religion. Well, yes and no. If you mean religion as a certain set of rituals, yes. But if by religion you mean believing certain things, you’re on dangerous ground, because,brother, you have to believe certain things about God, or your claimed relationship has no basis. Because without the anchor of faith in a certain version of Jesus, the true One, the One who did, in fact, live and die for you and live again, your relationship is based on falsehood and worthless. A lie can’t save you.
The journey, you say. What does this have to do with the journey and the destination? If the destination is hell, then parts of the journey will be hell, too, and if the destination is glory, all will be glorious. In what reality? Seems like lots of hell-bound people are enjoying the ride and lots of saints are going through hell on earth. But, is anything what it seems? Sin can look fun from a distance. It can even be fun for a day, but there is always a price to pay, and it usually doesn’t wait until you die.
This wasn’t even what I wanted to write about.
On a clear night, the interstate is still as loud as it was when I was ten. I can hear the cars going by and wonder where everyone is going. I used to listen to that sound and long to travel with them. Now, I mostly just wonder what their hurry is. Do any of us know where we are going? Heaven, yes, maybe sooner, many later. But until then, there is a lot of fog to wander through. I don’t want to lose heart if some dream of mine is not God’s dream for me. I don’t want disappointment or disillusionment to pull me off course, any more then I want accomplishments and accolades to pull me off course. Sometimes failure has more appeal then success, because failure doesn’t take near the effort, and it’s rather comfortable. It has it’s own numbness, it’s own subtle seduction, the drug of choice for all who would wallow in self pity. And of course, we all know that fame and fortune can be just as deadly if we pay attention to Hollywood at all.
It sounds too zen to say we make our own reality. We can say that neither pleasure nor pain matters if we are content in any state, but I doubt that we can mean it. Still, it’s not primarily the conditions of our lives that bring happiness or misery. It’s the company we keep. Like the old Newsboys song “It’s all who you know.” But, let’s be honest, we all want to succeed at something. How can we expect to hear “Well done.” at the end if we don’t strive to make the most of every opportunity God drops in our laps?
If I must fail, I would like to at least know that I tried. I prayed, and stepped out of my comfort zone into the great unknown. I jumped off the cliff trusting that Jesus had a parachute waiting.
The thing you have to admire about Paul, more then his intense, dense, carefully thought out theology is that he did it, man. He ran the race right to the end, no matter what Satan threw at him. He kept slugging until he hit something. He kept saying: “See all this sewage I’m slogging through? It’s just life. Look, Jesus and Him crucified, that’s what matters, I’m just the vehicle, these are just words, keep the faith, the rest is just details.”
The journey isn’t the destination, but the path is always before you if your faith is in the right place. The right Person. Don’t succumb to the seductive numbness of not caring. Cultivate that childlike wonder at the amazing world God has put you in, and the amazing people he allows you to know.
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